It has been 15 years since we offered our first couple's retreat and have enjoyed close to 300 couples in our retreats since that time.
invite you to join us for a weekend like no other, as you explore and
deepen your most important relationship, find a powerfully renewed sense
of connection, passion and love and discover the skills to maintain it
Then give yourself and your partner the gift of
To Love and Be Loved; Retreat for Couples
What is more important in our lives than loving and feeling loved? What is more important than to feel positively connected to the person we have chosen as our beloved? And though we often begin our relationships with that love and connection, why is it that over time we lose the power of what we knew so well in the beginning? And most importantly, how do we get it back and keep it alive?
We have created a very quality weekend that helps you and your partner to develop connection and deepen in your respect, affection and closeness. Our retreat fosters greater presence and increased acceptance within your relationship and helps couples really talk to one another, giving needed time to the nurturing of your relationship. With processes, honed over time, we help you and your partner find what we call your Undefended Heart. We teach you simple but powerful practices to take home and continue the connection. Through this weekend we connect, share, romance, love, and discover the depth and truth of our hearts. We also believe in the power of laughter so we always have a really good time!
With great compassion and deep acceptance we look, together, at what in our lives and within our minds keeps us from having the loving connection that we long for. We learn to take complete responsibility for our part in the relational dynamic and learn essential skills to dissolve it. Skills such as facing and releasing the criticisms and judgments of our partner that divides us and the power of presence to help us understand and accept what is within our own mind and heart and that of our beloved. We explore and learn the tools and practices to maintain the qualities of love and connection over the life of your relationship.
And, we discover the value of appreciation in opening the heart and the absolute power of connective practices in creating grace, (which we define as the willingness to let go of our judgments and more fully accept our partner's idiosyncrasies)
We offered our first retreat at the Wayfarer Resort in February of 2006. We LOVE this work and we bring to each retreat our 34 years of relationship and therapeutic experience. We know how to help couples find deepening love and connection and to rekindle that spark that brought them together in the first place. We know how to help people create relationships that will give them tremendous happiness for many years. Why? Because absolutely everything we teach, we have worked within our own relationship so we know the benefits. We keep our retreats small so that each couple can feel more comfortable and also have the benefit of our time and attention.
"Trinity and Louis' retreat offered an incredibly safe space to help us shift our focus from what was going wrong to what we can each do to make things go right. Louis and Trinity teach four core principles - connection, appreciation, acceptance and each taking 100% responsibility. The specific practices they shared to go with these principles have offered us easy but transformative ways to nurture our relationship and a simple but profound framework to turn to when we're not sure where to turn, whether we face a conflict between us or some stress outside our relationship. We've regained the ability to let go of the little stuff and really be there for each other." KH & DG
See bottom of page for more testimonials and pictures from past retreats
Our number one goal in the retreat is to help couples release the defenses of the heart and to find that place of loving connection which arises from non-judgment, openness and true compassionate acceptance of them self and the other - just as they are. From there, so much good can happen!!!
A few words to men: We also recognize that men and women are often very different in the way they process information and emotion. We honor that difference and thus have created a male friendly retreat where men feel respected and safe. We feel particularly flattered by the awesomely positive feedback we receive from our male participants. They love the retreats and they really love the end result of feeling more acceptance and connection with their partner when they go home. They are always so thankful that they came.
"The Love and Be Loved Retreat for couples is a really wonderful experience for any committed couple. I think for men especially it is very non-threatening. You won't be asked to 'spill-your-guts" in front of the group. You won't be shamed or be made to tell the darkest secrets of your relationship. For me it was a chance to tune myself and my relationship up a few notches in a great country setting with two very skilled and understanding therapists leading the way. My wife and I left feeling upbeat and ready to continue moving closer toward each other and in-tune with our shared life together. I think any couple can get a great deal out of this retreat. We did." DQ-male participant (for more male reviews see below).
retreat was exactly what we needed. I love over-hearing my husband
telling our friends how much he loved it and wishes we had done this
years ago! A peace has settled over our home and our
relationship/marriage. Thank you!"
TBC- Portland, OR
We invite you to join us?
At this retreat you will .....
• Discover what it really takes to cultivate satisfaction in your relationship.
• Find out what happens when you truly show up for one another.
• Learn how to ask for and receive what you want from your partner.
• Move from blame, criticism and withdrawal to connection and harmony.
• Increase acceptance and compassion.
• Discover the power of simple practices to enhance connection and intimacy.
• Benefit from individual attention from facilitators (8 couples maximum).
• Enjoy a Saturday night catered dinner, included in retreat fee.
The Wayfarer is nestled along the beautiful McKenzie River about 30 minutes from Eugene, Oregon. Each participating couple can have their own cabin or studio or can share expenses with another couple and lodge in one of the two bedroom cabins. The Overleaf is located in Yachats OR and every room has an ocean view. Breakfast is served to all guest. The weekend is self-catered, except for the Saturday night dinner (included in fee) which is catered and always consists of wonderful fresh local food.
To be informed of future retreats click here.
Testimonials from some of our male participants
"A total solution based approach to relationship, creation of healing to provide a new beginning of love for the long great journey, that I am looking forward to." JW North Bend, OR
"What a spectacular weekend. Trinity and Louis make such a wonderfully safe place to address such important, tender issues. They are two people working in a career that they not only obviously have great natural instinct and talent for but also bring to bear decades of experience and hard gained insight. Never a false move on statement - No bullshit. All of this wisdom delivered with a delightful mix of earnestness and a playful spirit and clearly tremendous love and respect between them. Do it.... Do it now!" JA, Eugene, OR
"We came into the retreat with one of us wide open and myself skeptical. Within the first hour I felt at ease and wanting to be part of the process. No matter where your relationship sits, there are some great reminders as well as new ideas to go deeper into connectivity with your partner." MB, Eugene OR
"I came to this retreat somewhat guarded, not knowing what to expect. The setting, tone, and Trinity and Louis create a perfect environment to relax and simply work with your partner to address your personal patterns. I was pleased to learn that I wouldn't be put on the spot to spill my personal issues to a group unless I really wanted to. My wife and I were able to work together and learn some very basic skills that we can take with us and practice at home. This weekend was a great experience for my wife and I and I am very thankful we came. I would recommend this workshop to any couple trying to work through something. And even to those just looking for a way to make a good thing great. Thank you Louis and Trinity! Sincerely, Branden Chamberlin - Vancouver WA
"This retreat was enlightening and provided insight that I think any couple would benefit from. The facilitation was smooth and inviting, as we were guided through each process in a supportive way, but also appropriately challenging to stretch ourselves individually and as a couple" MW - Eugene OR
"I haven't felt this connected to my wife the entire time we have been married. When I woke up Sunday morning I had a desire to be close to my wife, stronger than I have ever had before. It has started a journey that we didn't even know we needed to take" JE-Woodburn Oregon
"Louis and Trinity are both personal and professional. I like the hands on approach of the workshop. So many conferences and workshops give you head knowledge. This retreat helped facilitate heart knowledge and application." TW, Astoria, OR
From our female participants
"We have so much more clarity about what we each bring to the relationship and how we can trigger each other. Connection can change everything and must be practiced and nurtured. You've given us simple but powerful tools to have the relationship our hearts desire. Thank you doesn't begin to cover the depth of my gratitude." DS North Bend, OR
"This retreat weekend is the most beautiful gift you and your partner could give each other." AS, Keizer OR
"To Love and Be Loved! This retreat was the most amazing experience personally and as a couple. There is always a fear within of the unknown and change. From the moment we stepped through into the beautiful Octagon house, we felt nothing but safety, honesty, and real life experiences. Every activity was guided with love, truth, experience and heart. My husband and I have learned many tools you can read in books or research. However, this retreat goes beyond. You truly focus on your inner self and speak words of appreciation to your loved one. You connect with each other on such a spiritual level, no book or research will ever touch this experience. To love and be loved! Thank you for such a wonderful, safe and loving environment. We truly appreciate all you did for us and all you do for everyone you work with" JC - Vancouver, WA
"After nearly two years of therapy (individual and couples) I was able to tap into my own knowledge and discernment and what my true feelings are and why I tend to react in certain ways. Learning to be mindful, tune in to your own truth and taking responsibility for that emotion (knowing it may have been inherited) has opened up a whole new level of insight for me and my husband. Looking forward to putting our new tools to work." TW, Astoria, OR
"Trinity and Louis created a beautiful and gentle container for my partner and I to go deeper into our love for each other, in addition to teaching us specific skills to keep us connected and work through conflicts. This workshop is a must for all couples - how wonderful that would be for our world. KS - Cottage Grove, OR
"Thank you so much for bringing your relationship practice and insight to the retreat. Your personal experience and openness brought us a new understanding of our own relationship. We look forward to employing the learned techniques in our everyday lives and hope to maintain the closeness and progress we've made this weekend for the rest of our lives and of course to continue to applying it to our relationship for the rest of our lives. I'm so grateful to you both for bringing my husband and I back together and reawakening our love for each other". JG - Veneta OR
"Not only are Louis and Trinity exceptional teachers and facilitators, but they also bring together the perfect combination of location and community, all of which provide the perfect context for deep growth and sustainable happiness for individuals and couples alike." Kevin K-Eugene
"Louis and Trinity hold a powerful, loving, intention that snuck up on my wife and I in the best possible way. In the exercises we found ourselves navigating uncharted territory in our marriage. We gained deeper insight into our core disagreement that helped us gain greater understanding and compassion for one another. Louis and Trinity's combined 50 years of clinical experience and deep exploration of their own marriage provide a powerful container for couples to grow spiritually and to emotionally rest into what matters most .... to love and be loved." Luke A-Eugene
"We are used to judging our partners, and often unfairly, reverting to unhelpful behavior patterns, further separating us from that which is most important - our relationship with our partner. This workshop opened my eyes to this and provided valuable tools and reinforcement to reconnect and heal rifts in positive and love reinforcing ways.THANK YOU!" KW Oregon City
"This retreat was an amazing experience for myself and my beloved. It forced us to really dig deeper into our struggles while also being able to connect and relate to the other couples similar issues. Several of the exercises force you to be comfortably uncomfortable which made coming toether and breaking down certain communication barriers with my partner much easier and emotionally connecting than I ever imagined. Huge thanks to Trinity and Louis for guiding us through this journey." Todd H-Eugene
"Coming to this retreat I had a lot of self built walls to my emotions as well as my partners emotions. It was a very heavy entry. As we end this retreat I feel safe to open myself up again, to feel, to communicate and to connect, while holding the pride and knowledge that we can keep the main thing the main thing." CL Prineville, OR
"The encouragement and activities of this retreat were structured in such a way that I felt safe and could grow. It was a lovely environment to share with my beloved and other adults. We hope to make taking retreats a regular part of our relationship connecting". Emily A-Eugene
"I left this workshop feeling more confident in myself and my relationship. I feel comfortable talking and sharing with my partner on many different levels. I will continue to cherish the bond we made this weekend and continue to work and love through our life. I want to make an annual tradition of attending one of Trinity and Louis workshops yearly. Thank you!" Anna B-Portland OR
"This workshop is truly a growth experience, often in ways unexpected, impact-ful and meaningful. I am so thankful to Trinity and Louis for putting such an amazing program together and presenting in such a beautiful way." Terry G-Roseburg
A recent retreat participant shared these words about her experience ....
To meet the Sacred and Pure,
To know each other deeper,
To forgive what is not yet forgiven.
To understand that which is not yet understood.
To accept what is not yet accepted.
To appreciate, celebrate and recognize deeper
the Blessings and Goodness that always surrounds us.
To cherish. To unearth the treasure of each other. To redeem.
Thank you! LS~Previous retreat participant
"One year ago we attended this workshop with the goal of opening up our communication barriers. The results over the past year have been outstanding. The level of resentment we had for each other has decreased significantly. Overall, we treat each other with more kindness and love daily. The biggest thing I have learned is to take responsibility for my own feelings, and my own happiness. We have developed a stronger connection and appreciation for one another. We are really grateful for the experience. B&KS-Portland
"After 42 years of marriage, we had held together through thick and thin and we were proud of that, but after this recent retreat with Trinity and Louis, we have found ways “to love and be loved”, that we had not encountered in all those years previously. We were afraid we would be the “old couple” at this retreat but we found others, our age and much younger, who were also interested in learning how to love better. Learning about love for each other and also for ourselves, what could be a better way to spend a weekend!" PF-Portland, OR
The retreat was the best thing we could've ever done to enhance our relationship. It's the first time I felt like any issue my wife and I had was gone...we were able to let go and felt the deepest connection ever; as if we were one. The combination of being in a group where we could work through things together and the peaceful setting at Wayfarer made for a perfect weekend. Louis and Trinity led us through activities, each one building on each other. I have a lot of anxiety but they helped me learn to breathe and it felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest. My wife and I almost wanted to leave several times during the retreat because we didn't think it could get any better and we wanted to leave with that feeling in case it didn't last! But to our surprise, the experiences just kept getting deeper and we left feeling better than ever! BT- Eugene OR
Radiant Loving Couples Retreat is one that we highly recommend to any
couples wanting to develop a deeper sense of love, acceptance, and
understanding between themselves. It was obvious from the moment we
arrived that Trinity and Louis have been working together for years on
developing the best retreat they can; from the first evening and their
creation of a truly open and sharing space, we knew we had chosen
correctly in signing up. Rather than focusing on trouble, pain, and
other negativity, the Radiant Loving Retreat is centered around a
becoming better individuals within the relationship, around presence,
and around practices that can be taken home once the weekend is over and
used as part of a daily regime to continue building (or repairing)
communication channels and love between each other.
We will certainly attend another retreat again. C&J, Florence Oregon
We wanted to thank Trinity and Louis for not only facilitating a beautiful weekend experience but also for providing us the tools to use everyday going forward. We have already put them to use! On our trip home we were both able to enjoy the view and a discussion processing the events and emotions of the weekend. It was a meaningful end to a pivotal weekend. Our marriage is stronger than ever. We have connected on a level that we have always dreamed of. We aspire to keep that connection alive and look forward to using the tools daily. We also look forward to working with you in the future. J&LS-Mill Creek, Washington
"I just want to take a few moments to express my appreciation to both of you for holding the Pathways to Radiant Loving Couples Retreat. My husband and I really moved to a much more unified space during the weekend and that has to an amazing extent, remained in place. I found the workshop to be a great blend of relaxation, couple time and group work. The most profound aspect of it is that I got to own all my projections and was then freed up to really love more- both my husband and myself, actually. So, thanks for your presence and your intent and for creating this. Much love and gratitude to you both". DB - Eugene, OR
"It was perfect. What I liked best was that we had a weekend alone together (without the kids) to reconnect. For a full 2 1/2 days we were able to focus on new techniques for communicating. We have continued to use the lessons daily. The retreat has rejuvenated our friendship, love and marriage." - SM, Bend, Oregon
retreat was awesome, we were both able to open up to each other. Being
in a group realizing that all of us go through similar things was so
helpful . And both of you are such great facilitators! Thank You." BR - Eugene, OR
"My husband and I made a breakthrough in our communication and our connection at this workshop. Louis and Trinity were great role models and teachers. They created a safe and inspiring space for change to happen". KQ-Eugene
Some pictures from past retreats!