To Love and Be Loved Retreat

To Love and Be Loved
A Retreat for Couples with Trinity Harris
and Louis Carosio
November 1st-3rd, 2024 - Retreat Full

Along the McKenzie River in Oregon
Meeting space at the Wayfarer Resort. Lodging at both the Wayfarer and Eagle Rock Lodge.

This retreat is already full. Email Trinity if you would like to be placed on the wait list.  Next retreat will be Spring of 2025.  Dates TBA.  

We invite you to join us for a weekend like no other, as you explore and deepen your most important relationship. In this retreat for couples, you will find a powerfully renewed sense of connection, passion and love and discover the skills to maintain it over time. We invite you to open to the powerful personal and spiritual evolution that is held within your relationship with your beloved.

At the heart of this retreat is the recognition that the journey of long-term harmonious relationship requires effort and commitment to create the fulfillment of our desire for heartfelt connection and companionship. This effort and commitment is the daily practice of relationship and to us, there is no better work. One of our favorite relational teachers and author, Terry Real, says “in order to have an extraordinary relationship, you have to behave extraordinarily.” We completely agree, and we know this does not happen without daily tending and practice.

This practice of relationship is deep spiritual work, work in which we are called to face some of the most difficult challenges of being human – accepting others as they are and the life we have with them as it is, and within that acceptance to strive to bring forth our best to our beloved. It involves the willingness to look deeply within ourselves to understand our contribution to relational dynamic and to be willing to make the necessary changes. It requires us to bring attention and intention to the care and nurturing of the relationship we share. Just as spiritual practice requires daily meditations and prayers, the practice of relationship requires daily dedication and tending to ourselves and our partners. The practice is, essentially, to turn toward our partner in recognition that they can truly be our greatest teachers.

Where else in life other than in intimate relationship do we have such a powerful mirror to ourselves? Within that mirror arises opportunity to gaze within truthfully and take responsibility for our own life and experience. For us personally, relationship has been our most profound spiritual practice and, in this retreat, we offer the relational practices of our many years together along with decades of education and training in relational skills. We have found that our greatest evolution can unfold from the person we share life with each and every day. Interwoven in each process and practice we offer in the retreat will be our four basic principles of relationship which are 1. Deepening connection 2. Feeling and expressing appreciation 3. Taking 100% responsibility for what we bring to the relational dynamic and 4. Accepting our partner as they are. Simple and powerful practices are offered to help you and your beloved find your way toward one another and into greater ease and intimacy.

Though we speak in terms of the spiritual practice of relationship, this is not a religious retreat. We are speaking of the practices that help us develop greater compassion, patience, understanding and kindness toward our beloved, practices that help us evolve as humans.

This is a deeply experiential retreat and we have created a very quality weekend that helps you and your partner to develop connection and deepen in your respect, affection and closeness. Our retreat fosters greater presence and increased acceptance within your relationship and helps couples really talk to one another, giving needed time to the nurturing of your relationship. This retreat requires both parties to be willing to show up to learn and grow and open their hearts to their beloved. With experiential processes, honed over time, we help you and your partner find what we call your Undefended Heart. We help you find your way to loving and being loved. We teach you simple but powerful practices to take home and continue the connection. We also believe in the power of laughter so we always have a really good time!

We invite you to join us. Retreat fee is $795 per couple - 2 night lodging fee at Eagle Rock Lodge or the Wayfarer Resort, both along the McKenzie River is in addition to retreat fee. 8 couples only for this retreat.

Click here to ask for an application

"Trinity and Louis' retreat offered an incredibly safe space to help us shift our focus from what was going wrong to what we can each do to make things go right. Louis and Trinity teach four core principles - connection, appreciation, acceptance and each taking 100% responsibility. The specific practices they shared to go with these principles have offered us easy but transformative ways to nurture our relationship and a simple but profound framework to turn to when we're not sure where to turn, whether we face a conflict between us or some stress outside our relationship. We've regained the ability to let go of the little stuff and really be there for each other." KH & DG

Trinity and Louis

See bottom of page for more testimonials from past retreats

Retreat fee is $795 per couple - 2 night lodging fee at Eagle Rock Lodge or the Wayfarer Resort along the McKenzie River is in addition to retreat fee. 8 couples only for this retreat.

At this retreat you will .....

• Discover what it really takes to cultivate satisfaction in your relationship.

• Begin to hold your partner and your relationship as your greatest teacher

• Find the power of true presence to the other

• Move from blame, criticism and withdrawal to connection and harmony.

• Find Increase acceptance and compassion.

• Discover the power of simple practices to enhance connection and intimacy using our four principles

• Benefit from a small group setting (8 couples maximum).

• Enjoy a Saturday night catered dinner, included in retreat fee.

The retreat begins at 6:30 PM on Friday night and ends by 4:00 on Sunday

COVID protocols - More information with application.

Click here for application.

Or call 541-214-8623

To be informed of future retreats click here.

A few words to men: We also recognize that men and women are often very different in the way they process information and emotion. We honor that difference and thus have created a male friendly retreat where men feel respected and safe. We feel particularly flattered by the awesomely positive feedback we receive from our male participants. They love the retreats and they really love the end result of feeling more acceptance and connection with their partner when they go home. They are always so thankful that they came.


"The Love and Be Loved Retreat for couples is a really wonderful experience for any committed couple. I think for men especially it is very non-threatening. You won't be asked to 'spill-your-guts" in front of the group. You won't be shamed or be made to tell the darkest secrets of your relationship. For me it was a chance to tune myself and my relationship up a few notches in a great country setting with two very skilled and understanding therapists leading the way. My wife and I left feeling upbeat and ready to continue moving closer toward each other and in-tune with our shared life together. I think any couple can get a great deal out of this retreat. We did." DQ-male participant (for more male reviews see below).

"This retreat was exactly what we needed. I love over-hearing my husband telling our friends how much he loved it and wishes we had done this years ago! A peace has settled over our home and our relationship/marriage. Thank you!"
TBC- Portland, OR

Testimonials from some of our male participants

"What a spectacular weekend. Trinity and Louis make such a wonderfully safe place to address such important, tender issues. They are two people working in a career that they not only obviously have great natural instinct and talent for but also bring to bear decades of experience and hard gained insight. Never a false move or statement - No bullshit. All of this wisdom delivered with a delightful mix of earnestness and a playful spirit and clearly tremendous love and respect between them. Do it.... Do it now!" JA, Eugene, OR

"We came into the retreat with one of us wide open and myself skeptical. Within the first hour I felt at ease and wanting to be part of the process. No matter where your relationship sits, there are some great reminders as well as new ideas to go deeper into connectivity with your partner." MB, Eugene OR

"I came to this retreat somewhat guarded, not knowing what to expect. The setting, tone, and Trinity and Louis create a perfect environment to relax and simply work with your partner to address your personal patterns. I was pleased to learn that I wouldn't be put on the spot to spill my personal issues to a group unless I really wanted to. My wife and I were able to work together and learn some very basic skills that we can take with us and practice at home. This weekend was a great experience for my wife and I and I am very thankful we came. I would recommend this workshop to any couple trying to work through something. And even to those just looking for a way to make a good thing great. Thank you Louis and Trinity! Sincerely, Branden Chamberlin - Vancouver WA

"This retreat was enlightening and provided insight that I think any couple would benefit from. The facilitation was smooth and inviting, as we were guided through each process in a supportive way, but also appropriately challenging to stretch ourselves individually and as a couple" MW - Eugene OR

"I haven't felt this connected to my wife the entire time we have been married. When I woke up Sunday morning I had a desire to be close to my wife, stronger than I have ever had before. It has started a journey that we didn't even know we needed to take" JE-Woodburn Oregon

From our female participants

"This retreat weekend is the most beautiful gift you and your partner could give each other." AS, Keizer OR

"To Love and Be Loved! This retreat was the most amazing experience personally and as a couple. There is always a fear within of the unknown and change. From the moment we stepped through into the beautiful Octagon house, we felt nothing but safety, honesty, and real life experiences. Every activity was guided with love, truth, experience and heart. My husband and I have learned many tools you can read in books or research. However, this retreat goes beyond. You truly focus on your inner self and speak words of appreciation to your loved one. You connect with each other on such a spiritual level, no book or research will ever touch this experience. To love and be loved! Thank you for such a wonderful, safe and loving environment. We truly appreciate all you did for us and all you do for everyone you work with" JC - Vancouver, WA

"Trinity and Louis created a beautiful and gentle container for my partner and I to go deeper into our love for each other, in addition to teaching us specific skills to keep us connected and work through conflicts. This workshop is a must for all couples - how wonderful that would be for our world. KS - Cottage Grove, OR

"Thank you so much for bringing your relationship practice and insight to the retreat. Your personal experience and openness brought us a new understanding of our own relationship. We look forward to employing the learned techniques in our everyday lives and hope to maintain the closeness and progress we've made this weekend for the rest of our lives and of course to continue to applying it to our relationship for the rest of our lives. I'm so grateful to you both for bringing my husband and I back together and reawakening our love for each other". JG - Veneta OR

Many other testimonials......

"Not only are Louis and Trinity exceptional teachers and facilitators, but they also bring together the perfect combination of location and community, all of which provide the perfect context for deep growth and sustainable happiness for individuals and couples alike." Kevin K-Eugene

"Louis and Trinity hold a powerful, loving, intention that snuck up on my wife and I in the best possible way. In the exercises we found ourselves navigating uncharted territory in our marriage. We gained deeper insight into our core disagreement that helped us gain greater understanding and compassion for one another. Louis and Trinity's combined 50 years of clinical experience and deep exploration of their own marriage provide a powerful container for couples to grow spiritually and to emotionally rest into what matters most .... to love and be loved." Luke A-Eugene

"This retreat was an amazing experience for myself and my beloved. It forced us to really dig deeper into our struggles while also being able to connect and relate to the other couples similar issues. Several of the exercises force you to be comfortably uncomfortable which made coming toether and breaking down certain communication barriers with my partner much easier and emotionally connecting than I ever imagined. Huge thanks to Trinity and Louis for guiding us through this journey." Todd H-Eugene

"The encouragement and activities of this retreat were structured in such a way that I felt safe and could grow. It was a lovely environment to share with my beloved and other adults. We hope to make taking retreats a regular part of our relationship connecting". Emily A-Eugene

"I left this workshop feeling more confident in myself and my relationship. I feel comfortable talking and sharing with my partner on many different levels. I will continue to cherish the bond we made this weekend and continue to work and love through our life. I want to make an annual tradition of attending one of Trinity and Louis workshops yearly. Thank you!" Anna B-Portland OR

"This workshop is truly a growth experience, often in ways unexpected, impact-ful and meaningful. I am so thankful to Trinity and Louis for putting such an amazing program together and presenting in such a beautiful way." Terry G-Roseburg

A recent retreat participant shared these words about her experience ....

To meet the Sacred and Pure,
To know each other deeper,
To forgive what is not yet forgiven.
To understand that which is not yet understood.
To accept what is not yet accepted.
To appreciate, celebrate and recognize deeper
the Blessings and Goodness that always surrounds us.
To cherish. To unearth the treasure of each other. To redeem. Thank you! LS~Previous retreat participant

"One year ago we attended this workshop with the goal of opening up our communication barriers. The results over the past year have been outstanding. The level of resentment we had for each other has decreased significantly. Overall, we treat each other with more kindness and love daily. The biggest thing I have learned is to take responsibility for my own feelings, and my own happiness. We have developed a stronger connection and appreciation for one another. We are really grateful for the experience. B&KS-Portland

"After 42 years of marriage, we had held together through thick and thin and we were proud of that, but after this recent retreat with Trinity and Louis, we have found ways “to love and be loved”, that we had not encountered in all those years previously. We were afraid we would be the “old couple” at this retreat but we found others, our age and much younger, who were also interested in learning how to love better. Learning about love for each other and also for ourselves, what could be a better way to spend a weekend!" PF-Portland, OR

The retreat was the best thing we could've ever done to enhance our relationship. It's the first time I felt like any issue my wife and I had was gone...we were able to let go and felt the deepest connection ever; as if we were one. The combination of being in a group where we could work through things together and the peaceful setting at Wayfarer made for a perfect weekend. Louis and Trinity led us through activities, each one building on each other. I have a lot of anxiety but they helped me learn to breathe and it felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest. My wife and I almost wanted to leave several times during the retreat because we didn't think it could get any better and we wanted to leave with that feeling in case it didn't last! But to our surprise, the experiences just kept getting deeper and we left feeling better than ever! BT- Eugene OR

The Radiant Loving Couples Retreat is one that we highly recommend to any couples wanting to develop a deeper sense of love, acceptance, and understanding between themselves. It was obvious from the moment we arrived that Trinity and Louis have been working together for years on developing the best retreat they can; from the first evening and their creation of a truly open and sharing space, we knew we had chosen correctly in signing up. Rather than focusing on trouble, pain, and other negativity, the Radiant Loving Retreat is centered around a becoming better individuals within the relationship, around presence, and around practices that can be taken home once the weekend is over and used as part of a daily regime to continue building (or repairing) communication channels and love between each other.
We will certainly attend another retreat again. C&J, Florence Oregon

We wanted to thank Trinity and Louis for not only facilitating a beautiful weekend experience but also for providing us the tools to use everyday going forward. We have already put them to use! On our trip home we were both able to enjoy the view and a discussion processing the events and emotions of the weekend. It was a meaningful end to a pivotal weekend. Our marriage is stronger than ever. We have connected on a level that we have always dreamed of. We aspire to keep that connection alive and look forward to using the tools daily. We also look forward to working with you in the future. J&LS-Mill Creek, Washington

"I just want to take a few moments to express my appreciation to both of you for holding the Pathways to Radiant Loving Couples Retreat. My husband and I really moved to a much more unified space during the weekend and that has to an amazing extent, remained in place. I found the workshop to be a great blend of relaxation, couple time and group work. The most profound aspect of it is that I got to own all my projections and was then freed up to really love more- both my husband and myself, actually. So, thanks for your presence and your intent and for creating this. Much love and gratitude to you both". DB - Eugene, OR

"It was perfect. What I liked best was that we had a weekend alone together (without the kids) to reconnect. For a full 2 1/2 days we were able to focus on new techniques for communicating. We have continued to use the lessons daily. The retreat has rejuvenated our friendship, love and marriage." - SM, Bend, Oregon

"The retreat was awesome, we were both able to open up to each other. Being in a group realizing that all of us go through similar things was so helpful . And both of you are such great facilitators! Thank You." BR - Eugene, OR

"My husband and I made a breakthrough in our communication and our connection at this workshop. Louis and Trinity were great role models and teachers. They created a safe and inspiring space for change to happen". KQ-Eug

Some pictures from past retreats!